This is Gabe's mom. HI! He didn't send a letter this week, so I thought I would share a powerful conversion story that was sent to me. I am sharing it with her permission.
ENJOY!
The
Book of Mormon makes me feel spiritually whole. It is my main source of
spiritual light. Of course I didn't always know that, but I know that
now.
(Taking place in January, 2015)
I
always went about feeling empty inside. I never felt whole--just like
there was something always missing. One night, I was feeling very empty
and I contemplated a bit over the matter. I wondered if this was a
feeling that I would have forever. I just felt so empty. I decided to
pray about it. I remember specifically what I prayed for--that I was not
happy, and that I was afraid that I was never going to be. I also asked
God to teach me how to pray.
I
believe that it was three days later, when my LDS friend Allison and I
decided to go to the school talent show together. After the show, we
were having a casual conversation, and eventually the topic of God came
up. We talked a little about the church and I remember her telling me
that she has “never known anything so true”--whatever that meant. It was
a short and simple conversation, but she ended up inviting me to church
that Sunday, and I went. Church was good.
I
remember being at Allison’s house one day, and both her and her mom
were telling me about Joseph Smith. They didn't go into much detail. All
I really knew was that he prayed and was led to the church. I thought,
“hey, that's kind of like me, I prayed and I am being led to this
church.” I always compared myself to him in that sense. I believed that
he was a prophet.
(Taking place in February, 2015)
I
believe that it was the second Sunday when I met the missionaries.
Their names were Elder Taylor and Elder Pettingill. I had my first
missionary lesson at Allison’s house very soon after I met them. I
invited a few friends. The lesson was on the restoration. It was good.
After everyone left, Allison and I ran upstairs to her room. I remember
telling her to hurry up as we were going up the stairs. For whatever
reason, I had a sense of urgency. It was as if my spirit subconsciously
knew that I was going to have a holy and miraculous spiritual
experience, and it could not wait to get to it. When she closed the
door, I kind of collapsed on the floor and just bawled. I was overcome
with such perfect joy, and my heart felt perfectly whole. I kept saying
two things one after another, repeatedly, because it was all I could
say. “I know for a fact that this church is true.” And, “I am SO happy.”
I no longer believed that Joseph Smith was a prophet. That belief was
gone--diminished. I knew it. “I knew it, and I knew that God knew it,
and I could not deny it…” And the fact that I was feeling a happiness so
intense, was a miracle. One night, I am afraid that I am never going to
be happy.. (one missionary lesson later) ..and I am overcome with this
unspeakable joy and happiness. It is safe to say, that God silenced that
fear. ...“And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea,
my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!”...
I
slept over at Allison’s house the next Saturday. I remember feeling a
crazy amount of peace as I was going to sleep that night. I remember
feeling so blessed. I felt like my life was perfect. I had just
experienced a God-given miracle, and I was going to continue on that
road to happiness. I was going to be baptized soon, and I was going to
attend church the next day, and I was going to have another missionary
lesson on Monday, and it was only going to get better from here on out.
Nothing could go wrong. It seriously felt like nothing could go wrong.
It
was after church that Sunday when I received a rather insensitive phone
call from my dad’s girlfriend. It was followed by a car ride home full
of ignorant criticism about the church and I. I took a BoM with me when I
left Allison's house that day. I held on to it in the car as I was
being told all manner of silly things. As she would talk to me in such a
way, I felt strongly that I should not say a word, so I didn't. When I
came home, I went straight to my room, and sat on the floor, and held
onto my BoM, and just cried. I didn't read it because I couldn't
understand it at the time. I just held onto it because all I knew, was
that it was true and holy, and that I needed to hold onto it.
My
dad and his girlfriend made me stop going to church, stop having
lessons, stop using the internet, stop hanging out with friends, and
they took me out of Track. She took my BoM’s away from me, and she
called it trash as she threw it in the trash. They read me anti-Mormon
literature--which is only convincing if you do not know anything about
the church, and at that time I didn’t know much. Not to say that I was
convinced, because I wasn't. I was just a little confused.
I
remember this one specific prayer I had one night after they read me
anti-Mormon literature. In my prayer I just kept repeating to God, “I
know the church is true.” After a while of repeating the fact, and
trying to convince myself of the matter, it finally hit me.. I know that
the church is true.. because I already asked Him.. The thought of my
missionary lesson came to mind. I remembered my words.. “I know for a
fact that this church is true..” I remembered the feeling, and I
remembered the unshaken certainty that I had. That was it. It was true
and nothing could convince me otherwise. I held on to that lesson with
everything I had in me. It prepared me. God allowed that one lesson, to
prepare me for all the adversity. “And behold I prepare you against
these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you
against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and
the floods which shall come..”
I
also remember asking myself one night, why I wanted to believe so badly
that the church is true. My answer to myself was, “because nothing has
ever made me so happy.” ...Then it must be true right? Right. There is
no way that lies and deceit could ever cause such joy in one’s heart.
(Alma 30:35) And that was very plain for me to understand.
The
journey to my baptism was tough, but Heavenly Father prepared me well. I
was definitely being cooked in the refiner’s fire. And as I would come
to understand why this trial was happening, I would often wonder to
myself why I was so blessed to receive such attention from God. To
literally be molded in his very hands, I felt so blessed.
This the beginning of my story. This is how it all got started.
Adriana Alexis Acejo